I’m 24 now

The whiskey was 27

23 for 23 hours more

The rails frozen in lapsed time

Invite my feet to kick at the chipped steel

My cold eyes drift down the depth

And my breath curls among possibility

Each new day I succumb to what I became

The closest to: apologies, praying, complacence

When I find love

I will stop the many aggravations

That you still call me on

I will endeavor to solidify better habits

And try to eat regularly

And drink less

I won’t be so frantic to do

Everything

I’ll take days off

At least once a week

I’ll actually wash my cloths

And my hair

Maybe even comb it

When I find love

I will stop seeking it

He Still Doesn’t Know…

I undress my kaleidoscope fragments

And earth them in disguise

My unborn awkwardness revels

In what I can not define

This is the second time your melody

Has purpled my scars

Further More

After I was born I learned to walk.
Once that happened there was no stopping me.
I learned to talk and gawk and gaze and be amazed.
Me feet were grounded by the things that I couldn’t see.
I was intent on grasping that which was fantasy.
sometimes I had to fight my way through a sea of arms and hands
adorned in lands that I couldn’t understand.
sister, brother, friend, we speak as if we soar
and the door opened and left us in sand.

I aged.
Some say fast. But I say simply.
father, mother, enemy, we scream as if we sink
and the moor drags us down as we choke.
I fight.
I scratch my living out of dying.
I learn the art of lying and crying and prying.
The architect in me built it all,
one after the other
brick by rotting brick.

I transpose my image across landscapes
that pieces of me will never reclaim.
My shirt stained, drenched in rain, stealing glimpses of the scars of pain.

The devil in me struck all else down.
and when the dust settled he stood stark with stealy sword,
sweaty in his must I crumbled to the ground
where it was I found earth I sold for a pound of flesh.

At times I feel like my sins catch up with me.

I haunt myself.

That’s how it is with my lot,
and I’ve resigned myself to it.