16

I never had sex. Not like the others. I never crawled under blankets or skipped gym or messed around at the movies. The movies. That was the first place they started. I was always more interested in what came on the screen. You know? Like their lives were more real—Cliché? Well, I may be only 16 and I may only be in high school, but if there is one thing that is clear—beyond a doubt, it’s that clichés exist. I spent a long time trying to fight them, you know, become something that clearly wasn’t what they thought I would be. Now, I just try to get by. Pause Sometimes all it takes is a little more foundation.

I never drank or did any drugs-well, I did-do smoke. That one started up in the usual fashion I guess. I was waiting for the bus one afternoon and this guy came over and sat next to me. I must’ve been really spazed out because he laughed and said “girl, you need something to take off the edge.” I looked at him and he took the cigg out of his mouth and passed it over. I held it awkwardly and he laughed—smoke spilling like steam out of his mouth. I shrugged and took a drag—just a little one, and backfired. I was about to hand it over when I saw the filter. It had a lipstick ring on it. I brought my hand up, but suddenly remembered I didn’t wear lipstick. In fact I never wore any makeup, not even that stupid pen glitter shit. He took the smoke from me and winked.

That’s when I noticed: foundation. A hint of stubble. Shadow. And rather smooth hands.

The bus came and on we went. I learned a lot that day. Mostly how a 16 year old girl became a 30 year old man. But also, how a 16 year old girl can be herself.

Cliché? Probably. (takes out cigarettes) But not like the others. And besides (lights cigg)… inhales and looks out… (as fact) well… exhales

Girl

Tracks

Trees